I have been going through the book, "A Treasury of Prayer" the best of E.M. Bounds -- as our class is taking an in depth look at prayer....
For these 40 days of Lent I will be focusing on one of the definitions of prayer, from his book, and others we are studying as part of our class.
I really love this one - as it relates to my Catholic, of sorts, background....
"Prayer is not a mere habit, riveted by custom and memory, something which must be gone through with its value depending upon the decency and perfection of the performance."
The rote repetition and the symbolism and the kneeling, standing, reciting, and even perhaps if some of that was considered praying -- was not for me. My personality is more river rapids, that style of religion, of prayer, more of a dam. And I suppose why I never really had much of a "Prayer-life" or "Christianity" that I remember until well in adulthood.
If that's how it had to be done.
I know some in my family "Prayed the Rosary" - but that was a private thing -- I don't ever remember a group prayer, family prayer, anyone asking me to pray for them or how they could pray for me.
Not that they perhaps never did -- but as far back as I can remember, I do not honestly recall anything about prayer-life.
Once I attended a church in adulthood - that's when I began to learn about prayer. Praying in groups, praying during offering, the value of time spent with God, in prayer.
Once I had my son, Brandon, I truly understood prayer, that communion, that talking with God.
I was free to be the river rapids that I am -- God simply the banks to my river - trying hard to 'keep her contained when she flooded!'
And oh how I have flooded over the years! Which makes me all the more in love with God for how HE is there to hold me back. Not scold me for overflowing, not saying I'm too fast, too slow, not clear enough, too murky. No, God simply has shown me how HE is the banks to my river -- holding me tight and letting me be me.
My prayers have been written, shouted, screamed, cried, sobbed, and silent.
My prayers have thanked God, loved God, hated God, cursed God.
I've come to God as a Princess, a pagan, a peasant.
My prayer performance most often merely worthy of a participation medal than an Oscar.
And that's ok.
It's the doing that counts.
The honesty, openness, transparency, rawness.
Perhaps the best prayers I've ever prayed are the ones I never prayed, but that others have on my behalf simply because I was too broken to pray.
Which is why it is so important to allow others to pray for you, with you.
As I wish to do for this Lent...
This Season of Prayer.
I know some in my family "Prayed the Rosary" - but that was a private thing -- I don't ever remember a group prayer, family prayer, anyone asking me to pray for them or how they could pray for me.
Not that they perhaps never did -- but as far back as I can remember, I do not honestly recall anything about prayer-life.
Once I attended a church in adulthood - that's when I began to learn about prayer. Praying in groups, praying during offering, the value of time spent with God, in prayer.
Once I had my son, Brandon, I truly understood prayer, that communion, that talking with God.
I was free to be the river rapids that I am -- God simply the banks to my river - trying hard to 'keep her contained when she flooded!'
And oh how I have flooded over the years! Which makes me all the more in love with God for how HE is there to hold me back. Not scold me for overflowing, not saying I'm too fast, too slow, not clear enough, too murky. No, God simply has shown me how HE is the banks to my river -- holding me tight and letting me be me.
My prayers have been written, shouted, screamed, cried, sobbed, and silent.
My prayers have thanked God, loved God, hated God, cursed God.
I've come to God as a Princess, a pagan, a peasant.
My prayer performance most often merely worthy of a participation medal than an Oscar.
And that's ok.
It's the doing that counts.
The honesty, openness, transparency, rawness.
Perhaps the best prayers I've ever prayed are the ones I never prayed, but that others have on my behalf simply because I was too broken to pray.
Which is why it is so important to allow others to pray for you, with you.
As I wish to do for this Lent...
This Season of Prayer.
