Day 60
Ezekiel 13-23
I must admit that I've read this days reading twice now and am still struggling to find some words of application or insight. I so want to move on in the readings to get past all this death and destruction, but I want to stay long enough to get some sort of understanding....
The Lord is very serious about those who do not follow his commands. He is very serious about the death and destruction that follow those who do not follow Him. In Ezekiel 21:18-19 it says, "Son of man, mark out two roads for the sword of the king of Babylon to take, both starting from the same country. Make a signpost where the road branches off to the city."
Reading that verse made me think of this Lewis Carroll quote from Alice in Wonderland:
"Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?' she asked.
'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat.
'I don't know,' Alice answered.
'Then,' said the Cat, 'it doesn't matter."
Oh, how it matters what road you take, as the Jews of that day found out. I don't think they really thought how much it indeed did matter what road they chose to veer off on! It matters to us, in our day, as we are finding out. We each have a choice to make in that fork in the road of our daily lives in deciding which way to go. God's way, or our way? In which choice we make. To follow obedience or disobedience?
The Jews of that day paid a very hefty price for the wrong choices they made. All they had to do was follow God's voice, but instead they followed the voices of false prophets.
As God has done time and time again in all these chapters of destruction, he offers hope. That when we choose the wrong road, there is grace and mercy and an opportunity to repent for going down it, and a new heart and a new spirit in choosing this time to go down the right road.
Ezekiel 18:30 says, "Therefore, O house of Israel, I will judge you, each one according to his ways, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent! Turn away from all your offenses; then sin will not be your downfall. Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!"
Ezekiel 16:59-60 offers me such HOPEISM as I too have been at that fork in the road where many times I have chosen the wrong path...
This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will deal with you as you deserve, because you have despised my oath by breaking the covenant. Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you.
When the Cheshire Cat asks me where I want to go, I will know my answer ---
To everlasting...
I know just who I must follow to get me there.
And it ain't the cat.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Experiencing God: The Pursuit of a Love Relationship
In the Experiencing God Bible Study by Henry & Richard Blackaby, one of the units is about "God Pursues a Love Relationship." All of the units are very moving, and I hope to share something that stood out from each one -- eventually.
But this weeks really stood out. Perhaps, "smacked me upside the head" would be a better term.
It's about how a love relationship with God is more important than any other single factor in your life. How being loved by God is the highest relationship, the highest achievement, and the highest position in life. How God takes the initiative. He chooses us, loves us, and reveals His eternal purposes for our lives.
How Jesus' death on the cross settled His love for us.
How nothing can ever change that.
Nothing.
Ever.
Ever.
Ever.
I love that. I don't think I've ever really fully understood Romans 8:35, 37, 38, & 39 until this study, and how it so applies to my "Life with Autism."
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Shall autism mean that God doesn't love my son? No. Shall all the hardships we have faced, are facing, and will face mean that God doesn't love us anymore? No. In all those things, because of God's love that has sustained us, we have been more than conquerors. Nothing, not even our "Life with Autism" will be able to separate us from the love of God. That's just so encouraging to me. I know I have an entire community behind me. Many prayer warriors praying me through. But God.... God is LOVING me through. Why, that's more powerful than even my HOPEISM!
In this unit it asks us to thank God for the ways He has shown His love to us... He has sustained Brandon through every seizure. Even the one where he stopped breathing and we had to do CPR on him. God sustained him. Us. Me. He has provided for us, for Brandon. He has understood us, our anger at times, frustration, helplessness, -- where we questioned Him as to why. He has healed us, and many times in many ways, healed Brandon. Most importantly, God has heard us. Our pleas, our prayers, our times of panic. He has heard our cries and wiped our tears.
At one point in the lesson it asks that if you love Jesus with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind -- if you could only have one or the other of Jesus or 1) silver, gold, riches untold, houses and lands 2) men's applause and worldwide fame 3) be the king of a vast domain -- which would you choose? Jesus --- not because that's my nature, but because it's what Brandon taught me. It then asks that if you chose Jesus over all those worldly things, do you live that way? Yes. Brandon taught me that too. It's an all too humbling thing to admit that most likely if we didn't have Brandon, and "Life with Autism" -- I'm not sure if my answers would be the same. Brandon has taught us so much about how to truly Experience God. When your child cannot read, write, or talk ---- somehow having a fancy house, nice clothes or decorations just doesn't seem important. Keeping up with anyone isn't the mission. Keeping our son alive is.
The most humbling thing of all in this unit is that with the enormity of love God has for me, how his love pursues me daily, sustains me daily, how much I say I love Him in return --- yet fail time and time again to show Him that love in having that purposeful daily time alone with just Him....in thanksgiving and praise for all He is to me, my family. I like to think I do spend quite a large part of each day with God, in sometimes simply being in His presence, thoughts of Him and prayers to Him. As often as Brandon's situation allows, I do have very powerful "Praise & Worship Walks" with Him at the Nature Trails. Time when I listen to worship music and make prayers from them, speaking the lyrics to God. Powerful prayer times...made even more powerful when it rains and I go there because no one will be around and I can truly 'shout to the Lord' indeed! But in the sit down, purposeful study of His word -- I am lacking. If I love God as much as I say I do, then I should be studying His word a whole lot more than I do...
The author shared these statements that I was so very convicted by:
I have found this to be true in my walk with the Lord: I keep that time alone with God, not in order to have a relationship but because I have a relationship.
People who struggle to spend time with God don't have a scheduling problem; they have a love problem.
Ouch!
There's always HOPEISM that I can, and will, do better...
Taking scripture from Philippians 3:4-13
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him....... Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
To forgetting how I have fallen short in the past and to pressing forward toward the goal of a closer walk with God ----
To winning the only prize worth winning ----
HOOYAH!
But this weeks really stood out. Perhaps, "smacked me upside the head" would be a better term.
It's about how a love relationship with God is more important than any other single factor in your life. How being loved by God is the highest relationship, the highest achievement, and the highest position in life. How God takes the initiative. He chooses us, loves us, and reveals His eternal purposes for our lives.
How Jesus' death on the cross settled His love for us.
How nothing can ever change that.
Nothing.
Ever.
Ever.
Ever.
I love that. I don't think I've ever really fully understood Romans 8:35, 37, 38, & 39 until this study, and how it so applies to my "Life with Autism."
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Shall autism mean that God doesn't love my son? No. Shall all the hardships we have faced, are facing, and will face mean that God doesn't love us anymore? No. In all those things, because of God's love that has sustained us, we have been more than conquerors. Nothing, not even our "Life with Autism" will be able to separate us from the love of God. That's just so encouraging to me. I know I have an entire community behind me. Many prayer warriors praying me through. But God.... God is LOVING me through. Why, that's more powerful than even my HOPEISM!
In this unit it asks us to thank God for the ways He has shown His love to us... He has sustained Brandon through every seizure. Even the one where he stopped breathing and we had to do CPR on him. God sustained him. Us. Me. He has provided for us, for Brandon. He has understood us, our anger at times, frustration, helplessness, -- where we questioned Him as to why. He has healed us, and many times in many ways, healed Brandon. Most importantly, God has heard us. Our pleas, our prayers, our times of panic. He has heard our cries and wiped our tears.
At one point in the lesson it asks that if you love Jesus with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind -- if you could only have one or the other of Jesus or 1) silver, gold, riches untold, houses and lands 2) men's applause and worldwide fame 3) be the king of a vast domain -- which would you choose? Jesus --- not because that's my nature, but because it's what Brandon taught me. It then asks that if you chose Jesus over all those worldly things, do you live that way? Yes. Brandon taught me that too. It's an all too humbling thing to admit that most likely if we didn't have Brandon, and "Life with Autism" -- I'm not sure if my answers would be the same. Brandon has taught us so much about how to truly Experience God. When your child cannot read, write, or talk ---- somehow having a fancy house, nice clothes or decorations just doesn't seem important. Keeping up with anyone isn't the mission. Keeping our son alive is.
The most humbling thing of all in this unit is that with the enormity of love God has for me, how his love pursues me daily, sustains me daily, how much I say I love Him in return --- yet fail time and time again to show Him that love in having that purposeful daily time alone with just Him....in thanksgiving and praise for all He is to me, my family. I like to think I do spend quite a large part of each day with God, in sometimes simply being in His presence, thoughts of Him and prayers to Him. As often as Brandon's situation allows, I do have very powerful "Praise & Worship Walks" with Him at the Nature Trails. Time when I listen to worship music and make prayers from them, speaking the lyrics to God. Powerful prayer times...made even more powerful when it rains and I go there because no one will be around and I can truly 'shout to the Lord' indeed! But in the sit down, purposeful study of His word -- I am lacking. If I love God as much as I say I do, then I should be studying His word a whole lot more than I do...
The author shared these statements that I was so very convicted by:
I have found this to be true in my walk with the Lord: I keep that time alone with God, not in order to have a relationship but because I have a relationship.
People who struggle to spend time with God don't have a scheduling problem; they have a love problem.
Ouch!
There's always HOPEISM that I can, and will, do better...
Taking scripture from Philippians 3:4-13
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him....... Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
To forgetting how I have fallen short in the past and to pressing forward toward the goal of a closer walk with God ----
To winning the only prize worth winning ----
HOOYAH!
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Gathering the Scattered...
Day 59
Ezekiel 1-12
One of the companion books that I've been reading that help Bible beginners like me more fully understand what each book is about, has this to say about Ezekiel:
"Misery is going to get company."
Death and destruction continues, and in these chapters it seems your worse nightmares are being vividly described. But alas, even in all the death and destruction, there lies the faintest glimmers of hope...
I'm sure a few more rounds of this journey through the Bible will have me getting more Biblical application, but for now I can only relate to how verses like Ezekiel 11:12 apply to my life: "And you will know that I am the Lord, for you have not followed my decrees or kept my laws but have conformed to the standards of the nations around you."
I read that verse a couple of times and really had to evaluate my life and whether I am doing the same thing...
".....but have conformed to the standards of the nations around you."
The people have conformed to everyone elses standards but God's, and are now paying the price for that. I find myself thinking how stupid can they be - but then I also find myself asking the question, "Have I conformed to the influences around me?" Have I conformed to the worldly influences of things, attitudes, values, beliefs? Are there areas where I have conformed to excuses and justifications?
I think I've been doing good in some of those areas, --- we don't buy things just to have as things to decorate or adorn a wall with. I have held true to what should be valued, and what shouldn't be. I can thank my son Brandon who has autism, for that life lesson. But on other things, I feel I do need a major readjustment. Sometimes I let my attitude be shaped by others, or worse, I have a different attitude with different people. If I don't share some jokes with some people, but do share them with others, -- then gulp -- have I indeed conformed to a lower standard than I want for myself? Can right and wrong depend on who you are with at the moment? Can I sometimes make an excuse to not worship with the many because I've felt betrayed by a few? Can I truly consider myself transparent and honest in my Christianity if I know I do those things? Owie. Owie. Owie. I liked it better reading these passages when it was God bringing judgement on them. Not me.
I have to really think about that scripture as it applies to my advocacy as well. My Christianity is who I am, and my autism advocacy is who I am. I need to make sure one is not causing the other to conform, in particular, my advocacy not weakening my Christianity.
In all I do, I need to make sure God's scripture of Romans 12:2 overrides the world's scripture of Ezekiel 11:12!
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
As in all things, there is HOPEISM.
Even where I feel I have strayed in areas, I can be thankful that my God is a God of redemption. He loves to gather his people and bring them back, as in Ezekiel 11:17 which says, "This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will gather you from the nations and bring you back from the countries where you have been scattered, and I will give you back the land of Israel again. I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God."
Thank you Lord that when my Christianity gets scattered at times, you gather me up and bring me back to you...
How fitting that I am writing this on a Saturday, and National "Back to Church Day" is tomorrow, Sunday.
If you have felt scattered --- allow God to gather you up in his house of worship tomorrow and put a new spirit in you!
HOOYAH
&
HALLELUJAH
Ezekiel 1-12
One of the companion books that I've been reading that help Bible beginners like me more fully understand what each book is about, has this to say about Ezekiel:
"Misery is going to get company."
Death and destruction continues, and in these chapters it seems your worse nightmares are being vividly described. But alas, even in all the death and destruction, there lies the faintest glimmers of hope...
I'm sure a few more rounds of this journey through the Bible will have me getting more Biblical application, but for now I can only relate to how verses like Ezekiel 11:12 apply to my life: "And you will know that I am the Lord, for you have not followed my decrees or kept my laws but have conformed to the standards of the nations around you."
I read that verse a couple of times and really had to evaluate my life and whether I am doing the same thing...
".....but have conformed to the standards of the nations around you."
The people have conformed to everyone elses standards but God's, and are now paying the price for that. I find myself thinking how stupid can they be - but then I also find myself asking the question, "Have I conformed to the influences around me?" Have I conformed to the worldly influences of things, attitudes, values, beliefs? Are there areas where I have conformed to excuses and justifications?
I think I've been doing good in some of those areas, --- we don't buy things just to have as things to decorate or adorn a wall with. I have held true to what should be valued, and what shouldn't be. I can thank my son Brandon who has autism, for that life lesson. But on other things, I feel I do need a major readjustment. Sometimes I let my attitude be shaped by others, or worse, I have a different attitude with different people. If I don't share some jokes with some people, but do share them with others, -- then gulp -- have I indeed conformed to a lower standard than I want for myself? Can right and wrong depend on who you are with at the moment? Can I sometimes make an excuse to not worship with the many because I've felt betrayed by a few? Can I truly consider myself transparent and honest in my Christianity if I know I do those things? Owie. Owie. Owie. I liked it better reading these passages when it was God bringing judgement on them. Not me.
I have to really think about that scripture as it applies to my advocacy as well. My Christianity is who I am, and my autism advocacy is who I am. I need to make sure one is not causing the other to conform, in particular, my advocacy not weakening my Christianity.
In all I do, I need to make sure God's scripture of Romans 12:2 overrides the world's scripture of Ezekiel 11:12!
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
As in all things, there is HOPEISM.
Even where I feel I have strayed in areas, I can be thankful that my God is a God of redemption. He loves to gather his people and bring them back, as in Ezekiel 11:17 which says, "This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will gather you from the nations and bring you back from the countries where you have been scattered, and I will give you back the land of Israel again. I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God."
Thank you Lord that when my Christianity gets scattered at times, you gather me up and bring me back to you...
How fitting that I am writing this on a Saturday, and National "Back to Church Day" is tomorrow, Sunday.
If you have felt scattered --- allow God to gather you up in his house of worship tomorrow and put a new spirit in you!
HOOYAH
&
HALLELUJAH
Sunday, September 1, 2013
All Kinds of Kinds
I've been to church twice now in recent weeks.
That is a significant way to begin this story, because for the last three years we've not been able to go the majority of the time due to Brandon's health decline. The very few and far between times we could have gone, we didn't. Simply too exhausted from 24/7 autism and no help. Simply too far behind in things that must be done due to 24/7 autism and no help. Simply, satan. Allowing petty things not of the spirit to make me think that I've been gone too long, why come back now. But as God does so well, He continued his pursuit of me, and twice now I've been back. Oh, how good it has felt to be back...
I am so glad we made it today. Late, but we made it. I wouldn't have wanted to miss hearing the Holy Spirit speak mightily through such a meek young man who to the world has a disability, but to God is perhaps one of the few who have true ability. Ability to sense and respond to the Holy Spirit in a way the smartest and most perfect of us will never, ever comprehend.
As if he knew what the Pastor would be speaking about later in the message, at the end of one of the worship songs he began screaming out at the top of his lungs, "I LOVE YOU GOD!" Over and over, he cried out, "I LOVE YOU GOD!"
I was on the other side of the church and it took me a few seconds to discern what he was saying... Even as the music died down and most had stopped singing, there he was, "I LOVE YOU GOD!"
And I wondered as I stood there, how many in this church felt embarrassed that he was doing that. That perhaps visitors would be scared or freaked out about such a vocal display. I wondered who silently thought he shouldn't be there front and center of the church with his peers and friends who too have disabilities. That they should just worship together in their own little corner of the campus, so that us holy ones aren't interrupted. I wondered as I'm going through Experiencing God Bible Study myself, how many may have been bummed that their personal worship was ruined by his loudness --- or if they recognized that the interruption of their worship, was perhaps an opportunity for them to tune in where God was working and join Him there -- in pure worship where there are no barriers. Just a transparent window to God.
God was not working in that young man who the world considers 'the least of these' through a style of music, through who was leading the music, or because there was a band, a choir, or beautiful stage. God was not working in that young man because a hymn was playing, contemporary music playing, or no music playing.
God was working in that young man through worship. Pure, and simple worship. Not by the sound of the song, but though the words of the song. Words saying that God is love. God is Holy. God saves, forgive, redeems, revives...
If a young person who has disabilities can be moved by that -- those who more than any of us would have cause to question God or be angry at God for all of the challenges they must daily face -- can "get" that, what does it say of "our" grasp of the Holy Spirit when it's us who groan and grumble, not 'them'? What does that say about who or what the true hindrance in worship is? Of who is more worthy to be in the sanctuary and who should rather go sit in a corner of the church so their bad attitude doesn't disturb others? What if our thoughts during worship were heard more loudly than that young man's voice? Sometimes they are... Ouch. That's a hard one. Nice of me to squash my own toes with that one. I know at times I've needed to be in that corner. Times when my attitude was bad. Times when the feelings of my flesh ruined fellowship.
I wonder if we were all in a game of "Church Feud" and one hundred church members were polled, what the top five answers would be to the question of "What did you think about worship at church last Sunday?" I bet the answers would be something like: 1) Music was too loud 2) Music too old- fashioned/too contemporary 3) There were typo's in the on screen lyrics 4) I don't like his/her voice 5) I need to remember to send the Pastor an e-mail of complaint on Monday morning.
There are probably many answers other than the reaction of that young man I heard this Sunday so moved by the Holy Spirit that he sang out at the top of his lungs "I LOVE YOU GOD!"
Do you think it's an ability or disability that he didn't care what anyone around him thought of his actions? How many of us can say we feel so moved by the Holy Spirit that we don't think about what others think if we raised our hands up high and went down to the alter so moved by the words, -- not the song, the music, or who was singing, -- but the words. What the words say to us about who the Holy Spirit is to us and how we want to respond to that, but don't.
Who among us would dare to shout out at the end of a song, "I LOVE YOU GOD!"
What do you think would happen if each and every one of us in the church shouted, "I LOVE YOU GOD!" Why, that could lessen the importance of what kind of music is playing, or not playing. That could lessen the importance of petty disagreements. Hurt feelings. Misunderstandings. Imperfectness. It would make it not matter that our church isn't the biggest or prettiest or most perfectly run, -- because it has something much more worthy and kingdom centered than that... People who love God loudly. People who love God louder than mumblings, rumors, and gossip.
Allow me to talk at you for a moment...and by you I mean me too. Those who are most distracting to the Holy Spirit and who hinder authentic worship, are not those who have a disability and who sing too loud and too off key...
Ouch.
Ouch.
Ouch.
I am sure many of us are moved during worship service in our own silent way. I know I am moved even though I spare others from my singing. But I do allow the potential thoughts of others to hinder me when I feel especially moved and want to raise my arms, but don't for fear of what others might think. I want to shout out, "I LOVE YOU GOD!" but don't because that would be seen as weird.
That's what baffles me so much about society's view of the importance of those who have disabilities. Even to some extent, the church's view, in my own personal experience through parent networking and some churches I have contacted who simply don't feel 'called' to serve the disability community. As the Miranda Lambert song says, "It takes all kinds of kinds." And the kind of kind that young man is, is one of the most purest kinds of kinds. The kind of kind we all long to have as a friend. The kind of kind who will never betray you. Lie to you. Shame you. Make fun of you. The kind of kind who makes me a better me, you a better you, the church a better church, the community a better community, and the world a better place.
The kind of kind who can truly teach about what kind of kind Jesus is.
The message after the worship service was about "What makes a church authentic is the fullness of the Holy Spirit." I wonder if anyone else in the church today realized that the very group of people who are the most authentic and full of the Holy Spirit --- are the ones many think only of as a distraction kind of kind.
Yet they are the most blameless kind of kind within a church body.
We so desire to see the Holy Spirit at work in our church. We so desire to know Him, sense Him, serve Him, be revived by Him. We should take note of that young man and how he did all that simply by not being burdened by any other thought but Him.
Oh if in all our abilities, we could learn that type of surrender.
Today in the church I was in, I not only saw the Holy Spirit at work, I heard the Holy Spirit at work---
From who the world deems the least kind of kinds....
I will never cease to be amazed by that.
That is a significant way to begin this story, because for the last three years we've not been able to go the majority of the time due to Brandon's health decline. The very few and far between times we could have gone, we didn't. Simply too exhausted from 24/7 autism and no help. Simply too far behind in things that must be done due to 24/7 autism and no help. Simply, satan. Allowing petty things not of the spirit to make me think that I've been gone too long, why come back now. But as God does so well, He continued his pursuit of me, and twice now I've been back. Oh, how good it has felt to be back...
I am so glad we made it today. Late, but we made it. I wouldn't have wanted to miss hearing the Holy Spirit speak mightily through such a meek young man who to the world has a disability, but to God is perhaps one of the few who have true ability. Ability to sense and respond to the Holy Spirit in a way the smartest and most perfect of us will never, ever comprehend.
As if he knew what the Pastor would be speaking about later in the message, at the end of one of the worship songs he began screaming out at the top of his lungs, "I LOVE YOU GOD!" Over and over, he cried out, "I LOVE YOU GOD!"
I was on the other side of the church and it took me a few seconds to discern what he was saying... Even as the music died down and most had stopped singing, there he was, "I LOVE YOU GOD!"
And I wondered as I stood there, how many in this church felt embarrassed that he was doing that. That perhaps visitors would be scared or freaked out about such a vocal display. I wondered who silently thought he shouldn't be there front and center of the church with his peers and friends who too have disabilities. That they should just worship together in their own little corner of the campus, so that us holy ones aren't interrupted. I wondered as I'm going through Experiencing God Bible Study myself, how many may have been bummed that their personal worship was ruined by his loudness --- or if they recognized that the interruption of their worship, was perhaps an opportunity for them to tune in where God was working and join Him there -- in pure worship where there are no barriers. Just a transparent window to God.
God was not working in that young man who the world considers 'the least of these' through a style of music, through who was leading the music, or because there was a band, a choir, or beautiful stage. God was not working in that young man because a hymn was playing, contemporary music playing, or no music playing.
God was working in that young man through worship. Pure, and simple worship. Not by the sound of the song, but though the words of the song. Words saying that God is love. God is Holy. God saves, forgive, redeems, revives...
If a young person who has disabilities can be moved by that -- those who more than any of us would have cause to question God or be angry at God for all of the challenges they must daily face -- can "get" that, what does it say of "our" grasp of the Holy Spirit when it's us who groan and grumble, not 'them'? What does that say about who or what the true hindrance in worship is? Of who is more worthy to be in the sanctuary and who should rather go sit in a corner of the church so their bad attitude doesn't disturb others? What if our thoughts during worship were heard more loudly than that young man's voice? Sometimes they are... Ouch. That's a hard one. Nice of me to squash my own toes with that one. I know at times I've needed to be in that corner. Times when my attitude was bad. Times when the feelings of my flesh ruined fellowship.
I wonder if we were all in a game of "Church Feud" and one hundred church members were polled, what the top five answers would be to the question of "What did you think about worship at church last Sunday?" I bet the answers would be something like: 1) Music was too loud 2) Music too old- fashioned/too contemporary 3) There were typo's in the on screen lyrics 4) I don't like his/her voice 5) I need to remember to send the Pastor an e-mail of complaint on Monday morning.
There are probably many answers other than the reaction of that young man I heard this Sunday so moved by the Holy Spirit that he sang out at the top of his lungs "I LOVE YOU GOD!"
Do you think it's an ability or disability that he didn't care what anyone around him thought of his actions? How many of us can say we feel so moved by the Holy Spirit that we don't think about what others think if we raised our hands up high and went down to the alter so moved by the words, -- not the song, the music, or who was singing, -- but the words. What the words say to us about who the Holy Spirit is to us and how we want to respond to that, but don't.
Who among us would dare to shout out at the end of a song, "I LOVE YOU GOD!"
What do you think would happen if each and every one of us in the church shouted, "I LOVE YOU GOD!" Why, that could lessen the importance of what kind of music is playing, or not playing. That could lessen the importance of petty disagreements. Hurt feelings. Misunderstandings. Imperfectness. It would make it not matter that our church isn't the biggest or prettiest or most perfectly run, -- because it has something much more worthy and kingdom centered than that... People who love God loudly. People who love God louder than mumblings, rumors, and gossip.
Allow me to talk at you for a moment...and by you I mean me too. Those who are most distracting to the Holy Spirit and who hinder authentic worship, are not those who have a disability and who sing too loud and too off key...
Ouch.
Ouch.
Ouch.
I am sure many of us are moved during worship service in our own silent way. I know I am moved even though I spare others from my singing. But I do allow the potential thoughts of others to hinder me when I feel especially moved and want to raise my arms, but don't for fear of what others might think. I want to shout out, "I LOVE YOU GOD!" but don't because that would be seen as weird.
That's what baffles me so much about society's view of the importance of those who have disabilities. Even to some extent, the church's view, in my own personal experience through parent networking and some churches I have contacted who simply don't feel 'called' to serve the disability community. As the Miranda Lambert song says, "It takes all kinds of kinds." And the kind of kind that young man is, is one of the most purest kinds of kinds. The kind of kind we all long to have as a friend. The kind of kind who will never betray you. Lie to you. Shame you. Make fun of you. The kind of kind who makes me a better me, you a better you, the church a better church, the community a better community, and the world a better place.
The kind of kind who can truly teach about what kind of kind Jesus is.
The message after the worship service was about "What makes a church authentic is the fullness of the Holy Spirit." I wonder if anyone else in the church today realized that the very group of people who are the most authentic and full of the Holy Spirit --- are the ones many think only of as a distraction kind of kind.
Yet they are the most blameless kind of kind within a church body.
We so desire to see the Holy Spirit at work in our church. We so desire to know Him, sense Him, serve Him, be revived by Him. We should take note of that young man and how he did all that simply by not being burdened by any other thought but Him.
Oh if in all our abilities, we could learn that type of surrender.
Today in the church I was in, I not only saw the Holy Spirit at work, I heard the Holy Spirit at work---
From who the world deems the least kind of kinds....
I will never cease to be amazed by that.
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