In the Experiencing God Bible Study by Henry & Richard Blackaby, one of the units is about "God Pursues a Love Relationship." All of the units are very moving, and I hope to share something that stood out from each one -- eventually.
But this weeks really stood out. Perhaps, "smacked me upside the head" would be a better term.
It's about how a love relationship with God is more important than any other single factor in your life. How being loved by God is the highest relationship, the highest achievement, and the highest position in life. How God takes the initiative. He chooses us, loves us, and reveals His eternal purposes for our lives.
How Jesus' death on the cross settled His love for us.
How nothing can ever change that.
Nothing.
Ever.
Ever.
Ever.
I love that. I don't think I've ever really fully understood Romans 8:35, 37, 38, & 39 until this study, and how it so applies to my "Life with Autism."
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Shall autism mean that God doesn't love my son? No. Shall all the hardships we have faced, are facing, and will face mean that God doesn't love us anymore? No. In all those things, because of God's love that has sustained us, we have been more than conquerors. Nothing, not even our "Life with Autism" will be able to separate us from the love of God. That's just so encouraging to me. I know I have an entire community behind me. Many prayer warriors praying me through. But God.... God is LOVING me through. Why, that's more powerful than even my HOPEISM!
In this unit it asks us to thank God for the ways He has shown His love to us... He has sustained Brandon through every seizure. Even the one where he stopped breathing and we had to do CPR on him. God sustained him. Us. Me. He has provided for us, for Brandon. He has understood us, our anger at times, frustration, helplessness, -- where we questioned Him as to why. He has healed us, and many times in many ways, healed Brandon. Most importantly, God has heard us. Our pleas, our prayers, our times of panic. He has heard our cries and wiped our tears.
At one point in the lesson it asks that if you love Jesus with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind -- if you could only have one or the other of Jesus or 1) silver, gold, riches untold, houses and lands 2) men's applause and worldwide fame 3) be the king of a vast domain -- which would you choose? Jesus --- not because that's my nature, but because it's what Brandon taught me. It then asks that if you chose Jesus over all those worldly things, do you live that way? Yes. Brandon taught me that too. It's an all too humbling thing to admit that most likely if we didn't have Brandon, and "Life with Autism" -- I'm not sure if my answers would be the same. Brandon has taught us so much about how to truly Experience God. When your child cannot read, write, or talk ---- somehow having a fancy house, nice clothes or decorations just doesn't seem important. Keeping up with anyone isn't the mission. Keeping our son alive is.
The most humbling thing of all in this unit is that with the enormity of love God has for me, how his love pursues me daily, sustains me daily, how much I say I love Him in return --- yet fail time and time again to show Him that love in having that purposeful daily time alone with just Him....in thanksgiving and praise for all He is to me, my family. I like to think I do spend quite a large part of each day with God, in sometimes simply being in His presence, thoughts of Him and prayers to Him. As often as Brandon's situation allows, I do have very powerful "Praise & Worship Walks" with Him at the Nature Trails. Time when I listen to worship music and make prayers from them, speaking the lyrics to God. Powerful prayer times...made even more powerful when it rains and I go there because no one will be around and I can truly 'shout to the Lord' indeed! But in the sit down, purposeful study of His word -- I am lacking. If I love God as much as I say I do, then I should be studying His word a whole lot more than I do...
The author shared these statements that I was so very convicted by:
I have found this to be true in my walk with the Lord: I keep that time alone with God, not in order to have a relationship but because I have a relationship.
People who struggle to spend time with God don't have a scheduling problem; they have a love problem.
Ouch!
There's always HOPEISM that I can, and will, do better...
Taking scripture from Philippians 3:4-13
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him....... Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
To forgetting how I have fallen short in the past and to pressing forward toward the goal of a closer walk with God ----
To winning the only prize worth winning ----
HOOYAH!
