Today I found myself thinking of how God pursues us.
There has been such conflict in certain relationships in my life, and as I was reflecting on that today the word "pursues" kept popping in my head. I just couldn't get that word out of my mind. I'm not sure why, perhaps as I meditate on it more I will have more to add, -- but for now I think it is to give me an idea of God's pursuit of us.
Of me.
I have found myself frustrated beyond belief in the pursuit of trying to restore a relationship only to be met with a brick wall. Total lack of anything in reciprocation. And I guess in those repeated attempts, -- in the hurt and frustration and disappointment in that the only response there has been, has been more mud-slinging -- I finally understood God's pursuit of me. I finally understood how he felt when he has pursued me only to be met with a brick wall, rejection, denial, disappointment. I know how hurt I've been by those brick walls in my life - and now I think I finally understand a fraction of the hurt God has had with me at times when I've ignored his pursuit of me.
I have tried and tried and tried. I have proverbially knocked on the door so many times my knuckles have bled. I have pursued... Yet nothing. No answer. I am about to the point where I just want to give up. Stop trying. I've considered that all day and have again marveled at the realization of just how persistent God is in his pursuit of us in how no matter how thick the brick wall, no matter how long the rejection, he will never, ever give up!
Never!
He will continue his pursuit of us!
Of me!
How comforting that was to realize for perhaps the first time in my life, the sheer depth, breadth, and width of his love and pursuit of me. In the face of such rejection, to know that there is indeed someone who will never reject a relationship with me. Someone who will embrace that "Never Quit" mentality. Someone who values his relationship with me so much that he will let nothing stand in the way of his pursuit of it.
I've wallowed in my own hurt at how others have ignored any attempt at restoration, and all that time I could have been relishing in all the ways God pursues me!
God will never ignore me, he will always pursue me.
God will never reject me, he will always pursue me and love me.
God will never give up on me, he will always pursue me and be there for me.
God will never falsely accuse me, he will always pursue me and show me the truth.
I wish everyone could understand that kind of pursuit.
Maybe then we wouldn't take it for granted when those around us here on earth care enough to pursue us yet we reject them. We ignore their attempts, no matter how imperfect they might be. I wish people understood that anything worth having is worth pursuing. We must pursue relationships, we must pursue our faith, we must pursue being a follower of Christ.
We cannot just sit back and do nothing and expect things to change.
We must pursue change.
Because much like with God if we wait too long to accept his pursuit of us, there does come a time when it's too late.
Opportunity lost.
For eternity.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Friday, February 26, 2016
El Simchah Giyl
God My Exceeding Joy
To say that this week has been a rough one would be yet another on the ever growing list of understatements in our "Life with Autism, Seizures, and this week, a side of Unemployment."
Just like that, the company my husband has worked for, for so many years, laid him off. It wouldn't really be a big deal for those our age, if we had empty nest like most at this stage. But we have autism. And autism is a ravenous beast the devours money whether you have any or not.
My husband and I have been so very humbled by the outpouring of love and encouragement. From those who have been there and done that, from those who hope to never be there and have to do that, and from all in between.
But one e-mail I received this morning from a fellow warrior mom who knows hardship, touched me deeply. I was derailed last week in keeping up with these "Names of God" for my Lent study, and her e-mail was the perfect one to resume this with...
She wrote:
“Pleasure is associated with the body; for instance, we feel pleasure after a good meal. Joy is of the heart, and it comes from a good conscience. Joy hears music on the inside even when discords are ringing outside. Pleasure depends on outward circumstances, for example, wealth, friends, and wine, and therefore it can be obliterated by the slightest toothache. Joy is independent of outward circumstances; it can be felt even in adversity and pain.”
Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen
I really liked that so I looked to see if there was a name of God for "Joy" - and there is.
El Simchah Giyl - God My Exceeding Joy
Psalm 43 highlights this week well and how even in the toughest of circumstances, God is still God. We find joy in trusting in him despite our circumstances.
Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation; rescue me from deceitful and wicked men. You are God my stronghold. Why have you rejected me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
To say that Psalmist was having a bad day is putting it lightly. It must have been a warrior mom of autism who wrote that, - one whose husband was just unjustly laid off by a deceitful and wicked person who wants the whole company to be outsourced.
(Sorry, I digress....)
If you read that Psalm again, it is all anguish, but right there in the middle of it all, we find joy. "Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight."
How very often that has been true in our life with autism and seizures. How in the middle of the mayhem and madness - the Messiah manages to show us joy. Not just any joy, but double joy. I read where that name of God can be translated as saying "God my joyful joy."
Right there in the pit, he finds joy.
Exceeding joy at that.
Oh what comfort that brings when you find yourself in circumstances that are anything but comforting.
___
So satan, silly, silly, satan, -- you can try to steal one son's dream, another son's health, our job, our car, our house, our savings, our everything. You can steal it all, but you will never steal our joy. It comes from God, not this world or anything in it.
It is as untouchable to you as our HOPEISM.
NDCQ
HOOYAH!
To say that this week has been a rough one would be yet another on the ever growing list of understatements in our "Life with Autism, Seizures, and this week, a side of Unemployment."
Just like that, the company my husband has worked for, for so many years, laid him off. It wouldn't really be a big deal for those our age, if we had empty nest like most at this stage. But we have autism. And autism is a ravenous beast the devours money whether you have any or not.
My husband and I have been so very humbled by the outpouring of love and encouragement. From those who have been there and done that, from those who hope to never be there and have to do that, and from all in between.
But one e-mail I received this morning from a fellow warrior mom who knows hardship, touched me deeply. I was derailed last week in keeping up with these "Names of God" for my Lent study, and her e-mail was the perfect one to resume this with...
She wrote:
“Pleasure is associated with the body; for instance, we feel pleasure after a good meal. Joy is of the heart, and it comes from a good conscience. Joy hears music on the inside even when discords are ringing outside. Pleasure depends on outward circumstances, for example, wealth, friends, and wine, and therefore it can be obliterated by the slightest toothache. Joy is independent of outward circumstances; it can be felt even in adversity and pain.”
Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen
I really liked that so I looked to see if there was a name of God for "Joy" - and there is.
El Simchah Giyl - God My Exceeding Joy
Psalm 43 highlights this week well and how even in the toughest of circumstances, God is still God. We find joy in trusting in him despite our circumstances.
Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation; rescue me from deceitful and wicked men. You are God my stronghold. Why have you rejected me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
To say that Psalmist was having a bad day is putting it lightly. It must have been a warrior mom of autism who wrote that, - one whose husband was just unjustly laid off by a deceitful and wicked person who wants the whole company to be outsourced.
(Sorry, I digress....)
If you read that Psalm again, it is all anguish, but right there in the middle of it all, we find joy. "Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight."
How very often that has been true in our life with autism and seizures. How in the middle of the mayhem and madness - the Messiah manages to show us joy. Not just any joy, but double joy. I read where that name of God can be translated as saying "God my joyful joy."
Right there in the pit, he finds joy.
Exceeding joy at that.
Oh what comfort that brings when you find yourself in circumstances that are anything but comforting.
___
So satan, silly, silly, satan, -- you can try to steal one son's dream, another son's health, our job, our car, our house, our savings, our everything. You can steal it all, but you will never steal our joy. It comes from God, not this world or anything in it.
It is as untouchable to you as our HOPEISM.
NDCQ
HOOYAH!
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Jehovah Magen
The LORD our Shield.
Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Deuteronomy 33:29
Blessed are you, Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the LORD? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword. Your enemies will cower before you, and you will tread on their heights.
A "magen" is a shield for protection. When browsing the names of God and what they mean, I had to chuckle when I saw "Magen" and how it meant "shield". Being an unashamed Twilight fan, all I could think of was the book where Bella projected her mental shield to protect her family from Aro's attacks. No matter what was thrown at them to harm them, Bella's shield protected all who were behind it.
I'm sure God is cringing at my Twilight reference, but that is so how we are protected by Him. All who are his children can stand behind him and be protected by his shield that surrounds us, saves us. I have to just smile at that. I am so thankful for that!
Prayer is like that too. It is our shield against all in this world that threatens to steal our joy. It can help shield us against negative thoughts and hurtful people. It can shield us against doubt, disillusionment, and disappointment. But most of all and best of all - prayer is the most powerful weapon, the most impenetrable shield, against public enemy number one, --- satan.
If only we would use it first...
...and not run to it last.
Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Deuteronomy 33:29
Blessed are you, Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the LORD? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword. Your enemies will cower before you, and you will tread on their heights.
A "magen" is a shield for protection. When browsing the names of God and what they mean, I had to chuckle when I saw "Magen" and how it meant "shield". Being an unashamed Twilight fan, all I could think of was the book where Bella projected her mental shield to protect her family from Aro's attacks. No matter what was thrown at them to harm them, Bella's shield protected all who were behind it.
I'm sure God is cringing at my Twilight reference, but that is so how we are protected by Him. All who are his children can stand behind him and be protected by his shield that surrounds us, saves us. I have to just smile at that. I am so thankful for that!
Prayer is like that too. It is our shield against all in this world that threatens to steal our joy. It can help shield us against negative thoughts and hurtful people. It can shield us against doubt, disillusionment, and disappointment. But most of all and best of all - prayer is the most powerful weapon, the most impenetrable shield, against public enemy number one, --- satan.
If only we would use it first...
...and not run to it last.
Monday, February 15, 2016
God is Omnipotent...
He is all powerful.
There is no limit to his power.
God spoke things into being! I'm not sure you can get more powerful than that. Nothing is too difficult for him! When God wants something to happen, it happens. Nothing can prevent it.
I think my additional word for God for today's name of God - should be "miracle-worker" - but then I think omnipotent covers that too.
We were driving to school and Brandon was in the back seat of my Suburban as usual. At the light at a big intersection, he got quiet from his typical humming to the music and I looked back. I saw "the seizure face" -- the face he makes when he has a Grand Mal seizure. For Brandon - Grand Mal seizures are very violent. We have holes in our walls to prove the force with which he crashes into something when convulsing. Not to mention stitches in his skin, staples in his head, broken bones and broken teeth. His seizures are violent. So I turned and halfway climbed to the back seat to be ready to grab his head to stop it from smashing against the car window. Half me in the front seat (I'm sure all passersby appreciated that view) and the other half in the back seat waiting for what was sure to come. I had one arm ready to cushion his head, the other ready to grab feet from getting tangled under the seat in front of him. Right there in the busy intersection - cars behind me, beside me and a red light in front of me. All I could do was put on the hazard lights and hope no one rear-ended me.
I waited a few seconds for the convulsions to begin -- but they never did. It was the strangest thing I ever experienced. When he has that face, we know what has always come next. Always.
But it didn't. For a few seconds he made the breathing sounds typical of after a Grand Mal, but he never had the Grand Mal. He never lost consciousness and when he started breathing normal again he was acting as if nothing happened. I finally just went for it and got the rest of me back in the front seat and drove on. I did go back home, sure that was maybe just a warm-up seizure, but even back home he was fine. He was so fine that we got back in the car and went to school. I called them a few hours later to see how he was, and they said he was just fine!
All day long I was in awe of what I had experienced.
I had experienced God's omnipotence.
When God wants something done, it is done. What I experienced was how when God wants something stopped, like a Grand Mal seizure, it is stopped.
I needed to experience that name of God, and today I truly did. I have never seen something like that happen with one of Brandon's thousands of Grand Mal seizures he's had. As long and as hard as we have fought these seizures, and lost, I needed the reassurance, the HOPEISM, that God could still stop them, even if He chooses not to.
That God can, whether or not he will.
Because of God's omnipotence, he has power over everything, and everyone.
Including satan.
Only an Almighty God, an Omnipotent God, can defeat satan.
And today.....
Today I had a front row seat, or rather a back row seat, to the showdown of satan trying to cause a Grand Mal in Brandon - and God's mighty omnipotence saying, "O Hell No. Not today" and that Grand Mal stopping before it ever had a chance to start.
Ok fine, maybe God would never say that, but I sure loved seeing in person how he kinda did...
(smile)
There is no limit to his power.
God spoke things into being! I'm not sure you can get more powerful than that. Nothing is too difficult for him! When God wants something to happen, it happens. Nothing can prevent it.
I think my additional word for God for today's name of God - should be "miracle-worker" - but then I think omnipotent covers that too.
We were driving to school and Brandon was in the back seat of my Suburban as usual. At the light at a big intersection, he got quiet from his typical humming to the music and I looked back. I saw "the seizure face" -- the face he makes when he has a Grand Mal seizure. For Brandon - Grand Mal seizures are very violent. We have holes in our walls to prove the force with which he crashes into something when convulsing. Not to mention stitches in his skin, staples in his head, broken bones and broken teeth. His seizures are violent. So I turned and halfway climbed to the back seat to be ready to grab his head to stop it from smashing against the car window. Half me in the front seat (I'm sure all passersby appreciated that view) and the other half in the back seat waiting for what was sure to come. I had one arm ready to cushion his head, the other ready to grab feet from getting tangled under the seat in front of him. Right there in the busy intersection - cars behind me, beside me and a red light in front of me. All I could do was put on the hazard lights and hope no one rear-ended me.
I waited a few seconds for the convulsions to begin -- but they never did. It was the strangest thing I ever experienced. When he has that face, we know what has always come next. Always.
But it didn't. For a few seconds he made the breathing sounds typical of after a Grand Mal, but he never had the Grand Mal. He never lost consciousness and when he started breathing normal again he was acting as if nothing happened. I finally just went for it and got the rest of me back in the front seat and drove on. I did go back home, sure that was maybe just a warm-up seizure, but even back home he was fine. He was so fine that we got back in the car and went to school. I called them a few hours later to see how he was, and they said he was just fine!
All day long I was in awe of what I had experienced.
I had experienced God's omnipotence.
When God wants something done, it is done. What I experienced was how when God wants something stopped, like a Grand Mal seizure, it is stopped.
I needed to experience that name of God, and today I truly did. I have never seen something like that happen with one of Brandon's thousands of Grand Mal seizures he's had. As long and as hard as we have fought these seizures, and lost, I needed the reassurance, the HOPEISM, that God could still stop them, even if He chooses not to.
That God can, whether or not he will.
Because of God's omnipotence, he has power over everything, and everyone.
Including satan.
Only an Almighty God, an Omnipotent God, can defeat satan.
And today.....
Today I had a front row seat, or rather a back row seat, to the showdown of satan trying to cause a Grand Mal in Brandon - and God's mighty omnipotence saying, "O Hell No. Not today" and that Grand Mal stopping before it ever had a chance to start.
Ok fine, maybe God would never say that, but I sure loved seeing in person how he kinda did...
(smile)
Sunday, February 14, 2016
God is love...
I am sure that many names of God would cover how God is a God of love, of unconditional love to be exact; but for today on Valentine's Day, I simply wanted to reflect on how God is simply love.
Valentine's Day for a few years now has given us a new appreciation for the unconditional love God has for us.
It was on Valentine's Day after Brandon turned 18, that we had our actual appearance in court before a Judge with our lawyer and Brandon's appointed lawyer - to be granted Guardianship of him.
I love how that court date was on Valentine's Day. I didn't love that our only date that day was to appear in court - but hey..... I love how Todd and I stood before that Judge and promised to care for and advocate for our son. Our son who can give us nothing in return but that which we crave most - unconditional love.
Caring for him all these years has taught us about God's unconditional love for us.
And on Valentine's Day each year, we go through the process of renewing that commitment to Brandon, to the court.
In doing that, I always think about how God moment by moment renews His commitment of unconditional love to me...
He loves me even though I have nothing to give Him in return...
He loves me despite how challenging I am...
He will never abandon me...
He will never betray me...
He will never hurt me...
God is love.
Valentine's Day for a few years now has given us a new appreciation for the unconditional love God has for us.
It was on Valentine's Day after Brandon turned 18, that we had our actual appearance in court before a Judge with our lawyer and Brandon's appointed lawyer - to be granted Guardianship of him.
I love how that court date was on Valentine's Day. I didn't love that our only date that day was to appear in court - but hey..... I love how Todd and I stood before that Judge and promised to care for and advocate for our son. Our son who can give us nothing in return but that which we crave most - unconditional love.
Caring for him all these years has taught us about God's unconditional love for us.
And on Valentine's Day each year, we go through the process of renewing that commitment to Brandon, to the court.
In doing that, I always think about how God moment by moment renews His commitment of unconditional love to me...
He loves me even though I have nothing to give Him in return...
He loves me despite how challenging I am...
He will never abandon me...
He will never betray me...
He will never hurt me...
God is love.
God is a Merciful Protector...
For this day's "Names of God" I must go with simply how God is a merciful protector.
All the ways that God has had our back are too numerous to count. With all of Brandon's seizures and the horrific falls - holes in the walls - broken bones and teeth -- I can do nothing but marvel at how often, how completely, God has had his back. God has always had his back, and He always will have his back.
Unlike a cat and the proverbial nine lives, God's mercy is infinite and inexhaustible.
I witnessed that yet again when out gardening while Brandon was jumping on the trampoline. He has never, ever fallen from the trampoline while jumping in any form or fashion. But on this day he did. I didn't see it, I only heard it as he hit the ground.
What could have been.......well I won't even go there.
Because it wasn't.
God is a Merciful Protector.
(And we are ordering a new net enclosure for our trampoline.)
All the ways that God has had our back are too numerous to count. With all of Brandon's seizures and the horrific falls - holes in the walls - broken bones and teeth -- I can do nothing but marvel at how often, how completely, God has had his back. God has always had his back, and He always will have his back.
Unlike a cat and the proverbial nine lives, God's mercy is infinite and inexhaustible.
I witnessed that yet again when out gardening while Brandon was jumping on the trampoline. He has never, ever fallen from the trampoline while jumping in any form or fashion. But on this day he did. I didn't see it, I only heard it as he hit the ground.
What could have been.......well I won't even go there.
Because it wasn't.
God is a Merciful Protector.
(And we are ordering a new net enclosure for our trampoline.)
Friday, February 12, 2016
El Deah
The God of Knowledge.
It was an overwhelming day of conflict. When I sat at my desk this morning, I was staring at the names of God I had written in my notebook wondering which one I would pray about today. I needed much wisdom, so I chose El Deah, the God of Knowledge.
Wisdom comes from the Lord, so often I have found myself turning every where else but to him. It is hard to remember to do that... In my daily life with autism, seizures, and everything else, I'm trying to be a doctor, a biochemist, a culinary master of special diets, a teacher, a caregiver, a nurse. Let alone wife and mother to another son. Long gone spontaneous or the luxury of just being me. I've been at this cross-roads before and will no doubt be there again - where I once again must surrender to the knowledge only God possesses. The wisdom only he possesses.
I find great comfort in Romans 11:33-36
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! "Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?" "Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?" For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.
There is nothing for God to learn.
He is the God of knowledge. ALL knowledge. He knows all, sees all, is over all.
I thought about that all day.
The peace and comfort of knowing that I serve a God who knows all...
And who will hopefully share a few bits of that with me...
Like, soon.
(smile)
It was an overwhelming day of conflict. When I sat at my desk this morning, I was staring at the names of God I had written in my notebook wondering which one I would pray about today. I needed much wisdom, so I chose El Deah, the God of Knowledge.
Wisdom comes from the Lord, so often I have found myself turning every where else but to him. It is hard to remember to do that... In my daily life with autism, seizures, and everything else, I'm trying to be a doctor, a biochemist, a culinary master of special diets, a teacher, a caregiver, a nurse. Let alone wife and mother to another son. Long gone spontaneous or the luxury of just being me. I've been at this cross-roads before and will no doubt be there again - where I once again must surrender to the knowledge only God possesses. The wisdom only he possesses.
I find great comfort in Romans 11:33-36
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! "Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?" "Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?" For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.
There is nothing for God to learn.
He is the God of knowledge. ALL knowledge. He knows all, sees all, is over all.
I thought about that all day.
The peace and comfort of knowing that I serve a God who knows all...
And who will hopefully share a few bits of that with me...
Like, soon.
(smile)
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Do you still not understand?
Day 71
Mark 1 - 8
The book of Mark...
It's definitely one for the action-packed "Superhero" in you. It's the "Fantastic Four of Faith" in how Jesus calms the storms, walks on water, dies, and comes back to life.
It is about remaining faithful no matter what the cost.
It is about persevering through trials and suffering as Jesus did.
And this day's reading....is about believing, and remembering. It is about in times when life, or in my case - "Life with Autism, Seizures, and a side of Trauma", gets hard and things go wrong to remember all the stories of when life was right. The moments in life with autism when it was fairly easygoing. These first pages of Mark are about Jesus driving out evil spirits, healing many, praying, healing, bring back to life, feeding many with little, and honoring the Sabbath. It's about gaining a deeper understanding from very simple parables of how we should use God's word...
It is about having the faith of a mustard seed.
It's about this simple line from Mark 5:36 where Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe."
Mark 4:13
Then Jesus said to them, "Don't you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop -- thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown."
I sit here renewed with the HOPEISM of how I want God's word to take hold in my life...
There is much to be amazed by in this days reading, but I think for me, what makes me laugh in amazement of my own --- shallowness of faith at times shall we say? --- is found here:
Mark 8:17-21 - of which I shall paraphrase the opening and ending line...
Aware of Michelle's doubting at times, Jesus asks her: "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"
"Twelve," they replied.
"And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"
They answered, "Seven."
He said to Michelle, "Do you still not understand?"
No.....sadly at times this thick skull of mine still hasn't fully comprehended the extent of how God truly has my back in all things, and especially in all things life with autism.....
Mark 1 - 8
The book of Mark...
It's definitely one for the action-packed "Superhero" in you. It's the "Fantastic Four of Faith" in how Jesus calms the storms, walks on water, dies, and comes back to life.
It is about remaining faithful no matter what the cost.
It is about persevering through trials and suffering as Jesus did.
And this day's reading....is about believing, and remembering. It is about in times when life, or in my case - "Life with Autism, Seizures, and a side of Trauma", gets hard and things go wrong to remember all the stories of when life was right. The moments in life with autism when it was fairly easygoing. These first pages of Mark are about Jesus driving out evil spirits, healing many, praying, healing, bring back to life, feeding many with little, and honoring the Sabbath. It's about gaining a deeper understanding from very simple parables of how we should use God's word...
It is about having the faith of a mustard seed.
It's about this simple line from Mark 5:36 where Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe."
Mark 4:13
Then Jesus said to them, "Don't you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop -- thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown."
I sit here renewed with the HOPEISM of how I want God's word to take hold in my life...
There is much to be amazed by in this days reading, but I think for me, what makes me laugh in amazement of my own --- shallowness of faith at times shall we say? --- is found here:
Mark 8:17-21 - of which I shall paraphrase the opening and ending line...
Aware of Michelle's doubting at times, Jesus asks her: "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"
"Twelve," they replied.
"And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"
They answered, "Seven."
He said to Michelle, "Do you still not understand?"
No.....sadly at times this thick skull of mine still hasn't fully comprehended the extent of how God truly has my back in all things, and especially in all things life with autism.....
Yahweh Nissi
The LORD my banner. The LORD who gives us victory in spiritual warfare.
When I sat down before Lent began to write out in my journal the 40 "Names of God" I wanted to use, this one wasn't listed for today. But, much like my "Life with Autism, Seizures, and a side of Trauma" doesn't follow any schedules or rules - neither did my Lent plan.
I woke up to the choking sounds of Brandon having a seizure, then another one, and then when I had a moment to check on our dogs, found that one of them has a cloudy patch on his eye, not to mention the cyst-like lump under his leg. Not that that's all it takes to rock my world - the other dog has a torn ligament that probably needs surgery if we could afford it, and the other dog just got over three rounds of some funky something with her eye. Then there's the relentless seizures, and the fact that it's only February 11th and I've spent a small fortune on out-of-pocket expenses in trying to deal with said seizures. These things may be merely "things" - but they are actually more than that. They are spiritual warfare satan uses to cause doubt and disappointment for the soul purpose of causing us to depart from our faith!
Yes, I'm sure for some, the thinking is, "Where's my violin to play you a sob-story." It's easy to think that, but unless you've been the Charlie Daniels band as we warrior parents are, and have had to constantly challenge the devil to duel, you might just put your "fiddle" down and walk away.
We battle every.single.day. Not one thing, but many things. We juggle more flaming swords than most could ever comprehend, and for longer than most could ever endure.
So that's why my thoughts this morning were to search out the name I had written down for "The LORD my banner."
Today is a day I need Yahweh Nissi.
So many battles. Health for my son and my dogs, finances to somehow cover it all, the spiritual warfare of not losing my HOPEISM through it all.
When you are a child of God, you are under His banner. His protection. My son who is in the military, gawd-forbid, if he should ever have to fight for our freedom, his fight will of course also be under God's banner, but also under the Navy flag - the Navy banner. He will fight under that flag for protection and he will celebrate victory under that flag.
I must remember that in this "Life with Autism" battle -- it is not under any other banner but God's that I fight it. Not a doctor's, not my own, not anything but under God's banner. No matter what the battle we are facing, we are fighting, we are weary of, -- we must fight it under God's banner because that is the only banner under which we will have true victory. God, is the only force strong enough to defeat autism, seizures, any battle we face, -- including satan.
Fighting under Yahweh Nissi makes us more than conquerors.
It makes us victorious.
And Team Guppy is sure hoping for a few victories.
I would love nothing more than to be like Moses in building an altar as a symbol of deliverance from this battle of seizures we are so weary of fighting. An altar that will symbolize how we faithfully fought under God's banner -- and were victorious.
To HOPEISM!
NDCQ
Now...I know you're thinking of the song "Devil went Down To Georgia" - so click here for link to watch the video!
When I sat down before Lent began to write out in my journal the 40 "Names of God" I wanted to use, this one wasn't listed for today. But, much like my "Life with Autism, Seizures, and a side of Trauma" doesn't follow any schedules or rules - neither did my Lent plan.
I woke up to the choking sounds of Brandon having a seizure, then another one, and then when I had a moment to check on our dogs, found that one of them has a cloudy patch on his eye, not to mention the cyst-like lump under his leg. Not that that's all it takes to rock my world - the other dog has a torn ligament that probably needs surgery if we could afford it, and the other dog just got over three rounds of some funky something with her eye. Then there's the relentless seizures, and the fact that it's only February 11th and I've spent a small fortune on out-of-pocket expenses in trying to deal with said seizures. These things may be merely "things" - but they are actually more than that. They are spiritual warfare satan uses to cause doubt and disappointment for the soul purpose of causing us to depart from our faith!
Yes, I'm sure for some, the thinking is, "Where's my violin to play you a sob-story." It's easy to think that, but unless you've been the Charlie Daniels band as we warrior parents are, and have had to constantly challenge the devil to duel, you might just put your "fiddle" down and walk away.
We battle every.single.day. Not one thing, but many things. We juggle more flaming swords than most could ever comprehend, and for longer than most could ever endure.
So that's why my thoughts this morning were to search out the name I had written down for "The LORD my banner."
Today is a day I need Yahweh Nissi.
So many battles. Health for my son and my dogs, finances to somehow cover it all, the spiritual warfare of not losing my HOPEISM through it all.
When you are a child of God, you are under His banner. His protection. My son who is in the military, gawd-forbid, if he should ever have to fight for our freedom, his fight will of course also be under God's banner, but also under the Navy flag - the Navy banner. He will fight under that flag for protection and he will celebrate victory under that flag.
I must remember that in this "Life with Autism" battle -- it is not under any other banner but God's that I fight it. Not a doctor's, not my own, not anything but under God's banner. No matter what the battle we are facing, we are fighting, we are weary of, -- we must fight it under God's banner because that is the only banner under which we will have true victory. God, is the only force strong enough to defeat autism, seizures, any battle we face, -- including satan.
Fighting under Yahweh Nissi makes us more than conquerors.
It makes us victorious.
And Team Guppy is sure hoping for a few victories.
I would love nothing more than to be like Moses in building an altar as a symbol of deliverance from this battle of seizures we are so weary of fighting. An altar that will symbolize how we faithfully fought under God's banner -- and were victorious.
To HOPEISM!
NDCQ
Now...I know you're thinking of the song "Devil went Down To Georgia" - so click here for link to watch the video!
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Elohim
The strong creator God. God, Mighty Creator.
I am praying the names of God for Lent...and sharing through this blog because I hope to go back each Lent and study these names more, learn more, and expand on these thoughts.
But for this Lent, this year....for the next 40 days (you do not count Sunday's during Lent) these Names of God are what I will pray about and these thoughts I will reflect on in how they apply to my daily life.
Elohim
The journey begins here. God created.
Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."
There is such muchness in that! In the world of unknowns I live in, I can rest assured that I know this... God created this world and all who inhabit it. I am not here by chance, because of an explosion, not from evolution, not by anything but God!
In my life of chaos, I find such peace and comfort in that.
I am praying the names of God for Lent...and sharing through this blog because I hope to go back each Lent and study these names more, learn more, and expand on these thoughts.
But for this Lent, this year....for the next 40 days (you do not count Sunday's during Lent) these Names of God are what I will pray about and these thoughts I will reflect on in how they apply to my daily life.
Elohim
The journey begins here. God created.
Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."
There is such muchness in that! In the world of unknowns I live in, I can rest assured that I know this... God created this world and all who inhabit it. I am not here by chance, because of an explosion, not from evolution, not by anything but God!
In my life of chaos, I find such peace and comfort in that.
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