Day 48
Ecclesiastes
Wow......
Don't read this book of the Bible if you're an autism mom looking for answers!
Ecclesiastes 1 starts off our prozac-moment with: "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
Despite how depressing those words are, that phrase that is uttered numerous times throughout this book of the Bible - it really was quite meaningful to me. I guess in the sense of how "Life with Autism" has totally changed my perspective of life. Of Christianity and what it means. All that it means.
Over and over the writer states how unfair everything is. The rich still die, the poor get unearned wealth, thieves live long, good people die too soon.
Ecclesiastes 2:13
"I saw that wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better tan darkness. The wise man has eyes in his head, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realize that the same fate overtakes them both."
Innocent kids get autism. Vaccines maim. Mother's shouldn't have their adult son in the next room sleeping off seizures. Mother's shouldn't have to change their adult son's who have leaky gut and can't always control their bowel movements.
Yup. Autism can be quite meaningless. Utterly meaningless.
Expect for how it teaches you meaning.
How there is no greater purpose or reward or joy in life than speaking for someone who can't speak for themselves. Defending someone who can't defend themselves. Caring for someone who can't care for themselves.
I would rather be poor and live only half my life than be rich and live my whole life not knowing the difference in that.
As Ecclesiastes conveys, we won't find "meaning" to certain fates in this life. Or even perhaps the "meaning" of life itself. To spend all of our time pursuing that is to miss the joy in the moments of God's gifts that we can realize. See, hear, taste, smell, touch......
It's hard to understand that the same God who brings prosperity, also brings adversity. And though this word is never mentioned in this book, I think it all goes back to the fact that our God is a Sovereign God. Whose wisdom and reasons are beyond our grasp.
As much as we try to seek self-fulfillment, we won't find it.
We must simply pursue God --- He, we can find.
We must try not to live in a way that values things -- they perish.
We must simply live in a way that honors God --- He is eternal.
We can't begin to understand the "why."
All we can do is cling to the "Who."
We simply aren't in control of life's situations, but we are in control of how we react to them. I guess that's what my son Brandon has taught me the most in his "Life with Autism." How there is such joy, such laughter, such HOPEISM despite the utter meaninglessness of that autism.
So much of his autism is found in these verses of Ecclesiastes 3 --
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep an a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
He
has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in
the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from
beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to
be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink,
and find satisfaction in all his toil -- this is the gift of God. I
know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added
to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere
him.
I guess that's how you can define success in Ecclesiastes.... In being able to find joy in the often meaninglessness of life.
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
And there's something pretty darned meaningful in that....
And in this:
Ecclesiastes 12:13
"Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."
Read that one again Pharma..... CDC....... NIH:
"For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."
